Week 15: League Average Reaches 100!

Old age can be a mournfully painful aspect of life for a Manager's loved ones to cope with. The Manager's memories can not only distort but sometimes also completely disappear. Accuracy of judgements and opinions veer into the ridiculous only to be replaced by an unswervingly surging momentum of cantankerous outrage.

Take ageing skinhead Andy 'I Used to Run A Fantasy League Myself' Straw. Having hankered after the canter into cantankerousness himself he seems to have completed the metamorphosis into an ageing skin-and-boned Andy 'I Can't Remember The Meaning of Deadlines and Quite Frankly I Don't Very Much Care For Them' Straw.

It's a place we're all doomed to be heading towards, I'm sure you'll agree.

Manager of the Week is the youthful and spritely Smasher who, whilst not wanting to blow his own trumpet, does like to blow his own transfer quota. His Inter 'Yes We Got the Rather Feeble Team Name Gag Over Ten Years Ago' Milandrover scored 21 points to climb just one place to remain a member of the Big Four.

And finally, it's always nice to see a manager express his/her joy at being temporarily top of the table. Current League Leader, RS T-Boy's Rick Beecroft, is the latest exponent of the natural high that the League Leadership bestows. Just before it gets cruelly wrestled away from him next week. Perhaps.

[Don't stare at Mr Manttan's score this week. It's rude. Move along.]

Thanks to Craig McHugh for sending in the picture of Carlos Tevez and his Mum. Carlos' mum, not Craig's.

Week 11: A Freak Week for 'knapp Man and Robinho

A freak week from Robinho sees the Brazilian striker net 14 points all on his own creating a wooden cart type vehicle seemingly designed to transport a group of musicians all playing the "Robinho Symphony".

All this seems to have triggered the 'herding instinct' in OFFL Managers. Indeed two managers have already been unable to resist this informational social influence and executed transfers aimed at bringing the player into their teams [see email] and the OFFL HQ are preparing themselves for further knee-jerk transfer requests.

Particularly from Charlie's Angels.

Manager of the Week is Smasher who's 22 point haul can be solely attributed to a certain Brazilian striker enjoying a freak week. Can’t remember his name.

Another instant trend to watch out for is the mass transferring out of Portsmouth players based on the belief that Harry Redknapp's weekend departure will instantly cause Pompey's Premier League demise.

Now who would be paranoid enough to react to both those big news stories?