Week 38: Low Roots, High Ambitions

One supposes that the big news of the week could be, nay - *should* be, the battle between the pretender Inter Milandrover and Champions Elect RS T-Boy all the way up there at the top. After all, this seems to have ambushed us into thinking that we may, actually, have an exciting fight to the finish on our hands this season.

One could suppose equally that the big news of the week might have been about the high scoring 35 points picked up by Mannschester United, earning all-round nice bloke Dan 'the Man' Manns the Manager of the Week certificate.

We could possibly have been cooing over the fact that Alun Edwards' Radnorshire Tigers have leapt into a very strong third place worrying the League into discreetly taking out their strategy notepads in order to scribble down the newly circulating rumours that a Double could be ON.

But the story that we're telling today is one of low roots and high ambition [apart from the high ambition bit]. In a world where big money and high scoring grabs all the headlines; one man, an honest man, wanting a better life for his family [maybe not 'honest'], downtrodden for the most part, he now rises like a Phoenix from the Flames of Failure...

...Yes. Gavin Ward's Metatarsenal hit 17 points this week and climb off the bottom of the league and above a somewhat alarmed David Manttan who now, incidentally, has to fly back from the depths of southern Africa to reorganize his team into earning back some desperately needed dignity. Gavin's pairing of Ronaldo and Torres seemed to have done most of the leg work for him this week though his West Brom, Stoke and Hull defenders haven't really been living up to expectations this season. Well, actually they HAVE been living up to most people's expectations this season but just not Gavin's it seems. Congratulations Gavin. A mere 208 points behind the leaders. It is indeed a marathon and not, as I think we mentioned before, a sprint.

You're all very patient.

--

New Loopy Album out soon. You simply must buy it [or at least some of the eight tracks] to make this poor underachieving indie-pop band look good on iTunes. Guaranteed catchy, cheap and verging on the exclusive - well, put it this way... your real mates probably won't have a copy.

Week 30: RS T-Boy runs away

As Dan Manns picks up the Manager of the Week certificate for being, quite lampard frankly, so much better than the rest of you [what with scoring 21 points for his Mannschester Rovers], Rick Beecroft nets himself enough points to put him 31 points ahead of second place - currently occupied by current champions BM Mingmongs.

Surely this has to be the most one-sided OFFL in years. Indeed, former Chelsea boss, Jose Mourinho launched a shock attack on the OFFL by insisting that it is embarrassing that RS T-Boy is running away with the League Title.

Mourinho, whose Inter Milan side don't face RS T-Boy in in Wednesday's crunch Champions League second leg at Old Trafford, is stunned at how easy it has been for Sir Richard Beecroft's men in the league.

And, in a trademark show of modesty, he went on to claim that it would be much different if he was still managing in the OFFL.

And at that point he was wheeled away by men in white coats while the gathering crowd turned their eyes at yours truly for clearly plagiarising someone else's feeble copy to palm it off as yet another Studmarks original.

If a barrel appears in barren times. Scrape it.

Week 28: OFFL Cup Results

The Chairman has been enjoying certain aspects of this so called Credit Crunch. Not only has it allowed him to guiltlessly use those two words to explain his own stubbornly innate stinginess but it has also allowed him to squeeze in a few self-serving adverts amongst our weekly words of wisdom. So, 'Why Not Buy A Loopy track from iTunes'

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=275073567&s=143444

Yes, Studmarks has finally given in to advertising. Indeed, if you 'Buy a Loopy track from iTunes You'll Be Happier Than If You Didn't'.

Dan Manns has had a stonkingly good week as he watches his Mannschester United notch up 18 points, winning him the much coveted Manager of the Week certificate. Congratulations Dan. You've moved up a place in the table too.

Not that the air is heavy with the stench of desperation but you could always 'gift' a Loopy track to someone you love and respect and make their lives happier too. All for just 79p. 'Friday in Firenze' is quite nice. It's got a cello on it.

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?i=275074116&id=275073567&s=143444

Meanwhile Rick Beecroft's RS T-Boy's reign at the top is reinforced as they pull away from the current champions BM Mingmongs in second.

But.

Let's see how they got on in ...

OFFL Cup

Straw Bucharest 2 v 7 Pompey Puss
Campbellwin 10 v 12 Abeerden
Woolyback Town AFC 11 v 12 RS T-Boy
Nuttingham Florist 11 v 8 Rayner Midriff
Inter Milandrover 11 v 9 Tat Mucker
Ant & Bex 12 v 9 Two Owls
Upmintster United 7 v 9 Dube Stars FC
Radnorshire Tigers 15 v 11 BM Mingmongs

Father beats son; an Ant beats Two Owls; last two ladies lose out; and, the shock of the round, current league champions BM Mingmongs have been knocked out! Thanks to a jolly good hiding from Radnorshire tigers.

So, congratulations to Lionel Larking, Steve Tierney, Rick Beecroft, Andy Straw, Smasher, Ant Reeves, Khumbula Dube and Alun Edwards.

Now, wouldn't it be a nice gesture to buy your defeated opponent a Loopy track from the iTunes music store? Wouldn't it? Yes, of course it would. Click here to do just that...

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?i=275074116&id=275073567&s=143444

Next round will be in Week 31. Ish.

Probably.

Happy Birthday to Mr Tierney Snr for this week. May it snow for you. Again. Maybe someone will buy you a new Loopy track from the iTunes music store as a present. If they click on the following link here they might just be able to exactly that.

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?i=275074116&id=275073567&s=143444

Week 18: By the bye

Managers of the Week this week are Ant Reeves and Dan Manns for respectively steering Ant & Bex and Mannschester Rovers to a haul of 16 points each.

Which isn't bad.

Especially as it's the second time that Ant Reeves has claimed the certificate, betraying his stealthy escalation toward the top prize wethinks.

Ant & Bex climb highest this week, along too with Andy Straw's Nuttingham Florist who also barge up four places.


OFFL Cup

And, due to his highest climber status, it is Mr Straw who will be picking, out of an electronic hat, the three teams that will be receiving a bye for this year's OFFL Cup.

Mr Straw...? [Drum roll, please]