Week 35: OFFL Cup Semi-Finals

Ladies and Gentlemen. It's the OFFL Cup Semi Final Week.

Recent poor form throws some doubt on RS T-Boy's ability to carry a high-flying league position through to a Double-grasping OFFL Cup Final but the recent Adebayor transfer might just be enough. Meanwhile, the last [and only] manager to ever Do The Double, Steve Tierney, has to stop an in-form Alun Edwards and his Tigers before he can even start to think about defending that particular uniquity.

Manager of the Week this week is a fine and fabulous, purring like a Puma, Minty Colquhoun who steered her Upmintster United to a whopping 19 points. And that was without the help of Darren Bent.

Unsurprisingly.


OFFL Cup
Semi-Finals
Being played in Week 35 [w/c 6th April]

Pompey Puss v RS T-Boy
Abeerden v Radnorshire Tigers

Week 32: OFFL Cup Semi Final Draw

Manager Alun Edwards adds another Manager of the Week certificate to the one he [should've] got last week, albeit after a recount. He joins Malcolm 'Wishes He Was In The Middle' Pratt who also notched up a large 20 point haul, thanks mainly, perhaps, to Steven Gerrard's personal 11 point harvest.

Meanwhile, the boy Beecroft spits and stumbles like a red-nosed Scottish manager with a knighthood as his chart-topping T-Boys score a magnificent -2. Which briefly allows BM Mingmongs a sniff of his tail before bolting into the woods with a quick 'come hither' look over his haunches.

Indeed, the current champions had better extractus digitus pronto if they're going to make up the remaining 20 point gap and retain the title.


OFFL Cup
Semi-Finals
to be played in Week 35 [w/c 6th April]


Pompey Puss v RS T-Boy
Abeerden v Radnorshire Tigers


That's Lionel v Rick, Steve v Alun as it happens.

Semi-finaltastic.

Week 32:

Addendum: Last Week, there should have been a Joint Manager of the Week. Alun Edwards also scored 14 points. The funeral of the Umpa Lumpa responsible takes place next Wednesday. Closed Casket.

Week 31: OFFL Cup Results

As the dismal fiscal Mistral of the current climate zephyrs its way over and around the OFFLs Administrative Provençal hills, we ask ourselves if there is anything, absolutely anything, we can do to cheer ourselves up?

And all we can hear is that bloody wind whistling through the silence as if Nature herself is taunting us.

So while the Chairman looks to sell up and move OFFL HQ to premises a little more 'bijou' we turn to the warmth of our security blanket that is the OFFL and begin our collective thumbsucking.


OFFL Cup
Results

RS T-Boy 7 v 3 Ant & Bex
Nuttingham Florist 0 v 1 Abeerden
Radnorshire Tigers 12 v 1 Dube Stars FC
Pompey Puss 5 v 4 Inter Milandrover

In other words...

Rick Beecroft 7 v 3 Ant Reeves
Andy Straw 0 v 1 Steve Tierney
Alun Edwards 12 v 1 Khumbula Dube
Lionel Larking 5 v 4 Smasher

This round is a prime example of how important the Draw for the OFFL Cup actually is.

Steve Tierney scrapes past Mr Straw with a diabolical point while the Pompey Puss got the cream against the Milandrover.

At this rate the Double is In The Bag for Mr Beecroft, surely. All due respect [i.e. none] to Tierney and Edwards obviously.

Manager of the Week is Jordan United's Grant Larking, again so soon, with a mediocre 14 points. But what's the point of trying to let him know he's won the Manager of the Week Certificate when we're actually speaking to him from HIS SPAM FOLDER.

Week 30: RS T-Boy runs away

As Dan Manns picks up the Manager of the Week certificate for being, quite lampard frankly, so much better than the rest of you [what with scoring 21 points for his Mannschester Rovers], Rick Beecroft nets himself enough points to put him 31 points ahead of second place - currently occupied by current champions BM Mingmongs.

Surely this has to be the most one-sided OFFL in years. Indeed, former Chelsea boss, Jose Mourinho launched a shock attack on the OFFL by insisting that it is embarrassing that RS T-Boy is running away with the League Title.

Mourinho, whose Inter Milan side don't face RS T-Boy in in Wednesday's crunch Champions League second leg at Old Trafford, is stunned at how easy it has been for Sir Richard Beecroft's men in the league.

And, in a trademark show of modesty, he went on to claim that it would be much different if he was still managing in the OFFL.

And at that point he was wheeled away by men in white coats while the gathering crowd turned their eyes at yours truly for clearly plagiarising someone else's feeble copy to palm it off as yet another Studmarks original.

If a barrel appears in barren times. Scrape it.

Week 29

Jordan Utd unwittingly wins the Manager of Week certificate which will probably come as a complete surprise what with Studmarks making its way directly into Grant Larking's spam folder, stuttering a "...but...!" on its way past. Probably. 13 points.

Other news: Olymping Macdrid's manager, and Rafa Benitez almostalookalike, Craig McHugh has made his last two transfers of the season and now sits on his hands in hope, trying not to fidget nor to complete the Benitez illusion by losing his rag at the managers above him.

Actually, he doesn't look anything like the Spaniard but you can tell what we were grasping at...

And Week 31 will be giving us our next round of results for the OFFL Cup but Who's Zoomin' Who?

OFFL Cup

RS T-Boy v Ant & Bex
Nuttingham Florist v Abeerden
Radnorshire Tigers v Dube Stars FC
Pompey Puss v Inter Milandrover


In other words...

Rick Beecroft v Ant Reeves
Andy Straw v Steve Tierney
Alun Edwards v Khumbula Dube
Lionel Larking v Smasher

The prize is beyond most OFFL managers' wildest dreams.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0_ZJoa8VBk

Week 28: OFFL Cup Results

The Chairman has been enjoying certain aspects of this so called Credit Crunch. Not only has it allowed him to guiltlessly use those two words to explain his own stubbornly innate stinginess but it has also allowed him to squeeze in a few self-serving adverts amongst our weekly words of wisdom. So, 'Why Not Buy A Loopy track from iTunes'

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?id=275073567&s=143444

Yes, Studmarks has finally given in to advertising. Indeed, if you 'Buy a Loopy track from iTunes You'll Be Happier Than If You Didn't'.

Dan Manns has had a stonkingly good week as he watches his Mannschester United notch up 18 points, winning him the much coveted Manager of the Week certificate. Congratulations Dan. You've moved up a place in the table too.

Not that the air is heavy with the stench of desperation but you could always 'gift' a Loopy track to someone you love and respect and make their lives happier too. All for just 79p. 'Friday in Firenze' is quite nice. It's got a cello on it.

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?i=275074116&id=275073567&s=143444

Meanwhile Rick Beecroft's RS T-Boy's reign at the top is reinforced as they pull away from the current champions BM Mingmongs in second.

But.

Let's see how they got on in ...

OFFL Cup

Straw Bucharest 2 v 7 Pompey Puss
Campbellwin 10 v 12 Abeerden
Woolyback Town AFC 11 v 12 RS T-Boy
Nuttingham Florist 11 v 8 Rayner Midriff
Inter Milandrover 11 v 9 Tat Mucker
Ant & Bex 12 v 9 Two Owls
Upmintster United 7 v 9 Dube Stars FC
Radnorshire Tigers 15 v 11 BM Mingmongs

Father beats son; an Ant beats Two Owls; last two ladies lose out; and, the shock of the round, current league champions BM Mingmongs have been knocked out! Thanks to a jolly good hiding from Radnorshire tigers.

So, congratulations to Lionel Larking, Steve Tierney, Rick Beecroft, Andy Straw, Smasher, Ant Reeves, Khumbula Dube and Alun Edwards.

Now, wouldn't it be a nice gesture to buy your defeated opponent a Loopy track from the iTunes music store? Wouldn't it? Yes, of course it would. Click here to do just that...

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?i=275074116&id=275073567&s=143444

Next round will be in Week 31. Ish.

Probably.

Happy Birthday to Mr Tierney Snr for this week. May it snow for you. Again. Maybe someone will buy you a new Loopy track from the iTunes music store as a present. If they click on the following link here they might just be able to exactly that.

http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?i=275074116&id=275073567&s=143444